Tag Archives: abuse

My Friends,

Some years ago I wrote a poem, as I was healing from my abusive relationship/marriage that lasted seventeen years. It was published in an international collection of poetry.  I would like to give it to you as a gift, if you would like to have it.

With that man, I bore two children, supported his career to be an internationally known and traveled performer, helped him become a man well liked and respected by his friends and the community, built a successful life  (or so it looked) in a community  in which I carefully crafted and protected his ( and our) reputation.  During all those years, we were living a double life. So were my children. In truth, it felt like a long, dark tunnel with no end.

Now, it is ten years later. It is hard for me to conceive of it, but more than a decade has passed since I left.  I have cried more than a million tears, along the way, I am sure. There were plenty of days when I felt like I had no idea how to do anything. But I kept going, and still do, one day at a time. Because I learned that my growth occurs now, in this moment, in every moment, when I allow it to. That, by itself, is a miracle!

My life now is a bouquet of blessings, opportunities, achievements, adventures and new friends. My three children are now all grown, and launched. ( I have an older son from my first marriage, and they are all very close with each other.) Each one of the three of them is creating a life of success, discovery, trial and error, love and exploration. Each one of them has traveled a different, and sometimes difficult road as a result of their young lives in an abusive home; but they are all blossoming in such beautiful ways. And so am I.

I want to share with you this very important fact: recovery from abuse is possible. It is very possible. Being in relationships that are not abusive is also possible.

It may not be easy. It may not come quickly. But it is entirely possible. And I want you to know that.

Whether you are now, or have been, or are thinking that you may be, in any abusive relationship, you can learn the skills to detect, understand, and respond proactively so that you can regain your life.

Over the next few weeks I will be sharing more information with you about this.

For now, I wish you a gentle Spring of re-birth within yourself, knowing that you are as beautiful as a rose in the morning, deserving of tender love, warm light and sweet care.   If you would like to have my poem, just copy and paste the link below into your web browser.

With my love,


C:\Documents and Settings\Kathryn\Local Settings\Temporary Internet Files\Content. MSO\WordWebPagePreview\464E57D6.mht


Rihanna Finally Speaks Out

I hope many of you were tuned in last night to 20/20  on ABC to watch and listen to Rihanna finally speak out honestly about her event of intimate partner violence from world famous Chris Brown.


I experienced several intense emotions as I watched her interview with Diane Sawyer.

I was sickened, as I always am, when I hear the details of what happens to our sisters of all ages at the hands of abusive partners, details so familiar to me from my own past.

I was thrilled for a celebrity of her world magnitude to tell the  ugly truth with a world audience in attendance.

I was angry and frustrated that without her celebrity status, she would be unheard,  “just another victim,” like the rest of us who have also been victims, but whose experiences have not deemed newsworthy. Her trauma would go unnoticed, unattended by public compassion and awareness, still isolated in her trauma, pain and shame.


Please watch this online if you did not see it last night. If you have been – or are currently – a victim of abuse, you may find it comforting and encouraging that someone who can get into the world headlines has spoken out at this level.  If you are not a victim, you will hear truthful information about what abuse looks like, and how it can seem to sneak up out of nowhere.


I hope you will join me on the free call , ” Safe and Sane,” that I  am going to host on Dec. 1 when I will give you more specific information on how to recognize the red flags of an abusive relationship, and how you can help yourself make safe, informed choices.  Go to http://www.nextboldstep.com for more info and to sign up.


Thank you to those who have sent me responses to my last blog, and please stay in touch!


We all deserve to be safe and sane in our relationships!


Love , Kathryn